My hands held nothing but a tiny speck of dust. Colours surrounded me, lights guided me. I felt electricity running through my veins. The smallest details unraveled themselves in front of my eyes, exposing themselves nakedly to me, welcoming me to their world. Patterns formed around me as the whole room lit up in colours. Sometimes it was dark and sometimes it was bright. Never had I seen anything this beautiful. I went outside and looked at the view and it was just spectacular. They all moved in a constant pattern. The world was alive and it was breathing, hard. It sort of felt a bit overwhelming. I sat down on the table to catch my breath but as soon as I did that, the world breathed harder in my face. It caught me off guard to the point that I couldn't just look at one thing anymore, I just stared blankly ahead processing the whole entire picture. I ran to the bathroom, I needed to breathe and be alone. Calm down, I whispered to myself. My vision started to blur out on the sides of my vision, then I saw white slowly colouring it's way into my world. I stopped breathing. Frozen. This tingling sensation was buzzing from the tip of my toe, rocketing up to my head intensely as if something inside me was about to explode. Only two things I felt at that particular second, being pulled away and fear. I felt whatever it was on the other side reach inside me and touch my heart, soul and mind. It was as if I was being poked by a needle at every centimeter of my skin. Blood was pulsing through my veins. This is fucking crazy, I thought. This is unbearably and intensely fucking mad. I gathered up as much courage and will to force myself to stop this before it was too late, before I experienced something I knew I was definitely not ready for yet. Finally, my head managed to tilt a bit then the feeling was gone. Relief showered over me but of course, everything was still moving around me.

The more you think about it, the more you realise that everything you thought was solid and unquestionable isn't anymore. What you thought you believed can no longer be justified, all your beliefs crushed because you discovered a whole different realm of reality. A reality that can not be explained, that has touched your heart so strong. This realm is whispering to you "nothing matters" and you see the words spell out in front of you and it's breathing, the words are breathing, the walls are breathing, everything is breathing and then you think to yourself, how can nothing matter when the entire time i've been living i've believed that? How can anyone who's always had something to hold to, just let go and turn their backs against something they trusted? Well you can. Because like I mentioned before, the more you think about the more you realize, anything can be lie. Plus, who the fuck is anyone to know anyway?

No explanation was given but yet I understood why. Nothing made sense but it did. Slowly I saw everyone else crumbling into their own world, flicking something in their head. They weren't ready for this yet. They're not ready to be tricked into something they can't understand. I closed my eyes and ignored their sounds of insanity, of craziness. Patiently waiting for the love of my life to come and caress me. Only he matters. Only he does.

Time has finally come. I finally believe that the world could actually be a good place, that it isn't just filled with a lot of disappointment. There's still magic in life. My heart feels like it's been filled with a crazy electrifying fluid that's just stimulating me to do better in life and to strive better. I'm no longer an empty piece of paper, i'm written and i'm being read by one other person, my love. Words can't really express how incredible this feeling of belonging is. It's like I was sucked into a deep hole of emotions before and someone just happened to clear up this hole im in, lending me a hand and saying "it's alright, i'm here."

It's made me wonder what is it that's special about me that's making him stay for me. What is it that I do and i've done? Looking at him always gives me a rush of happiness. Just laying next to him and looking at his face. His fluffy dirty blonde hair sticking out, his blue eyes with golden cream flecks near the middle, his soft skin and his pink lips. Everything about him makes me wonder, where did such perfection come from?

Never have I really felt this reassured before. I keep telling myself in my head that no one knows what the future holds. But with him.. I can feel and see that in the future's hands, lies us spending the rest of our lives together. It feels so right. I don't ever have to worry about anything because my fears disappear and turn invisible when he's with me. It's like what I mentioned before, magic.

The thought of not having to find anyone else that fits me so well and gets me and how I deal with life... it's just so good. I've found a beautiful person, inside and out. Who treats me well and loves me to the moon and back. I know for a fact that we fell in love so fast and strongly that he's definitely someone special cause i'm never really the kind to fall in love fast and let anyone crash down my wall unless I trust them.

It was so easy with him.
He's the one.

xx