2013

You carry your wisdom and your life all throughout your smiles and laughter,
and you hope that maybe it'll spread, to the very core of the earth, to every drip of the ocean, to every cell of the people around you. But those things don't last, they're left as a memory, merely a temporary image of a motion. They'll look through every scar and cut you have when you make a mistake, won't even be the lenient teacher who lets you off because you're late for school. They'll dig you up and push you to the end, needless to say, until you're miserable and they're satisfied.

I am frustrated, hurt and stressed. Im sure those I've affected are too, but let me ask you something, are you getting a handful of judgmental comments? Are you reading posts knowing that they are indeed talking about you and its nothing heart warming? Are you getting bitched upon bluntly? For crying out loud, did you all maybe forget i'm human too or did you just intentionally forget that so you could go up about bitching relentlessly so you won't feel bad?

The fact that you people could jump to the conclusion that I am a social climber and all I just need is higher rank of friends is making me cringe so hard. First of all, if you know me, then you would know that I literally DO NOT give two flying cowbird shits whether you come from that backdoor alleyway or that big ass mansion that has tiles and walls that cost more than my life. I will talk to you the same way no matter who you are (unless you're a rude twat in which case, bye). Just because I have a variety set of friends does not mean that I am a social climber. I am friendly and if you can't accept that then gtfo. Second of all, I would never use anyone to get to know more people. (Since you've been so intent on the fact that you feel used, let me know who is it i've used you for, name me) If I did use you I wouldn't, again, give two flying cowbird shits about you, but I do and i've taken care of you with all my heart. And yet, YET, I get this critical judgement from you that I totally do not expect because out of all people, I thought you would know me best. Didn't expect you to stick up for me babe, but I didn't expect you to turn your back against me either. Its like you're fully forgetting who I am and suddenly believing the me that other people are creating. I trusted you not to take sides. You say you're pissed at me because i've lied to you about big things (which don't even involve you). Which are what exactly? I admitted my mistake. I also do not have to tell you every single thing. I know we trusted each other but I'm about sure there are things you never told me either. Never have I said or judged anything you did, NEVER. Fuck man I am so upset about this because I expected so much from you. I know you did too from me, but i've never done anything to you and I don't know how my mistake to another person has to jeopardize our friendship. I'm not going to apologize to you nor sit here rotting while you talk away my flaws in public. You should think again. I appreciated our friendship because there was a mutual understanding. My bad if you never felt it. Feel free to go if so.

People need to get their facts straight and really stop assuming and believing everything that everyone seems to come up with. If you had any conscience you would know that it is never right to be a bully. If you consider me unholy for what I did, please take a second to look at yourself in the mirror and think whether you've been the best saint in the world or not. I've been nothing but kind to each and every one of you. I could splurge all of your dirty little secrets if I wanted to (please, half of you have bitched about the whole world to me) but I won't because I am neither of you. I may have made a mistake, but i'm not the one downgrading friends.

Everyone's just exaggerating so much when this issue is merely just a personal problem. This is not fucking gossip girl or some drama tv show you aim to be in.
Im so sick of this to the point of almost puking.

And why the fuck would I drug a really close friend of mine?