I know that when you see me, all you see is the past and the same mistake again.

I feel that it's going to take an eternity, for a time to come, that I can finally take a step forward. Thought i'd taken a thousand steps ahead, but turns out I was going backwards. I'm back to square one.

Writing #1

You step into the room,
Felt like a mile away trying to touch you, this wall in between
Where else do you see my eyes looking,
It’s longing for you, just please give me one more look

Before you go,
Whisper to me that this wasn’t your choice,
Before you lie,
Whisper to me those three words you used to mean

Hurricane waves,
Hit me like a sudden shock of electricity, too foreign to recognize
Breaking down,
The sea’s sinking in the ocean, drowning every drip of my tears

Reminiscing,
Developing this feeling, that was once felt before
Nostalgia they say,
Lost in memory lane, where nothing moves but the world

Perfect Lies

Defeating yourself. You're in a battle with yourself to conquer what's best for your heart and for your health. You're confuse to what you should do and shouldn't do. Your mind says yes but your heart says no, your heart says no but your mind says yes. Why, you ask. Why do you make yourself go through this stage of misery every day? But yet you keep up the curved smile because you don't really want people to take note that you're crumbling. You're crumbling into tiny little pieces, trying to fix it, but the pieces are all gone now, how are you going to glue it back? You build up this wall, that almost reaches the moon. You believe in all the lies you tell yourself, because one day, you'll believe them.

Slumber

Waking up. Eyes are on the verge of opening, your mind processes the fact that you're no longer in a slumber, no longer dreaming. Still feeling drowsy, you blink a few times and rub your eyes. Look at the ceiling and let out a big sigh. Tick tock, says the clock and you glance at it like it's the one thing you despise the most. Everything seems to be staring right at you and you are unsure of what to do now. So you stretch, letting your muscles breathe and hoping to feel a teeny feeling of goodness. None. You then slide your feet out from the bed, touching the floor. Standing up seems like such an effort you think, but you do it anyway and walk slowly towards the bathroom. Then you let the water run by you, having to come out smelling like fresh fruits and looking so clean. Sit down, in front of your screen, and you start surfing the net. After what seems like forever, you decide to look around your room. Looking at everything, a splash of reality hits you then you realise, that this empty feeling is accumulating inside of you and it's becoming a mountain. That everyone is out there exploring every bit of the world that you've dreamt to discover, yet you're just here. Everything dimmers down, you no longer feel the enthusiasm behind every smile you show. Your emptiness fills you in and blooms into a grey flower in your mind. You are in the state of slow.

Start

Hello.

So i've decided to leave my old blog astray as it contained too much information, memories and rants of a young bipolar teenager. This will be more of a place for me to place my taste in music, and also put up some of my writing (ok maybe a bit of stuff I needa express as well)

Bitches can go. 

If you want to say shit, I suggest you hold it in.